Embrace your roots! - How to make your wedding unique...

When I talk to wedding couples they often ask me where I'm from... 

Once I tell them, they are usually eager to share with me that their grandma or granddad comes from Poland, Ireland,  England, Rumania, Russia or whatever country. 

It always fascinates me to hear these stories and I have often wondered why couples don't try to embrace their roots and use some of the old wedding traditions as a homage to their ancestors?

Weddings are about leaving your old life behind and starting a new life together, so what could be more fitting than keeping some of these old traditions alive? 


Every wedding tradition has a meaningful origin. We often 'keep up with tradition' even though we often don't even know where these traditions originate from... they just have become 'standard protocol'. Some of the commonly used traditions we use nowadays do not even have a 'flattering' reason.....  



Did you know, that traditions like the groom not being allowed to see the bride before the wedding, the bride wearing a veil over her face and the dad walking his daughter down the aisle all stem from the days when marriages were arranged? 

The groom often never saw his bride until the ceremony so all these 'precautions' were taken so that the groom couldn't change his mind and make a detour if he didn't like the look of his wife to be and equally, the dad escorting the bride down the aisle prevented her from escaping if she didn't like the groom. Not exactly a 'flattering tradition', is it? 

I have often wondered why especially these traditions are still going strong even though we're living in a day and age when we pick our own partners and set our own date... On the other hand we have forgotten other traditions that are truly meaningful and beautiful.... 

2013 has seen a huge increase in 'vintage style' weddings. A trend that still seems to be going strong for this year and 2015... so why not also incorporate some of the old traditions to make your wedding even more special and unique? 

Here are a few traditions from around the world that are meaningful, fun and provide some unique photo opportunities:

CUTTING THE LOG

Origin: Europe (Austria/Germany)

The freshly married couple has to cut a log of wood together 

Meaning: 

An old custom that symbolizes teamwork and equality. Cutting the log jointly represents harmony in the marriage, attentiveness, good communication and overcoming hurdles with each other's help

This custom can also be adapted. The wedding guests can draw a heart with the couple's names on a big white cloth and block the couple's way, either as they walk out from the ceremony or when the couple enters the reception. The sheet is held up or fixed in a door frame so that the couple has to 'cut their way free'. 

Another variation is at the ceremony for all guests that sit at the aisle either side to hold a piece of ribbon so that the couple's path is blocked and they need to cut their way free.... 

BREAD & WINE

Origin: European (Polish/German) but also in Jewish and Russian traditions

During or after the ceremony the couple jointly cut or break bread, feeding each other a piece and feed each other a sip of wine. 

Religious Meaning: 

At the last supper Jesus told his disciples to eat bread and drink wine as symbols of his body and blood 

Symbolic Meaning: 

The bread symbolizes that the couple will never run out of food, which could also mean money, creative 'food' to keep their marriage interesting and so on. The feeding each other symbolizes caring for each other. The wine represents bitter sweet things and therefore sharing the good and the bad times but also as a sign to stay positive in that the glass is always half full....

WEDDING TREE

Origin: European (Holland)

Guests are given a piece of paper with a colored ribbon either before the ceremony or at the reception to write down a wish for the couple. The wishes become the 'tree's leaves'.

Meaning: 

The tree stands for a strong, solid relationship, the wishes ('leaves') for constant renewal but also for harvest (successful marriage) and blessings as well as a new family tree

You can also adapt the wishing tree by using a canvas with a tree and people 'leaf' their fingerprint and their name 

HANDFASTING

Origin:  Pagan Worldwide

Meaning: 

Symbolizes everlasting love and fidelity. 'Tying the knot' originates from hand fasting

The rope or ribbon can be made of one or various colors. 


Each color represents a different meaning:






Red:         Fertility, passion, strength, lust
Orange:   Kindness, attraction, encouragement, plenty
Yellow:    Joy, balance, confidence and charm
Green:     Fertility, prosperity, charity, finances, health
Blue:        Patience, devotion, sincerity and tranquility
Purple:    Sentimentality, spirituality, power and piety
Black:      Wisdom, vision, success and strength
White:     Peace, purity, meditation and concentration
Grey:      Balance, neutrality and compromising
Pink:      Romance, happiness, truth, unity and honor
Brown:  Grounding, earth, home and talent
Silver:   Values, creativity, inspiration and treasure
Gold:    Wealth, energy, intelligence and longevity


BREAKING THE GLASS (PLATES)

Origin: Jewish, Russian, various other countries

At the end of the ceremony Jewish tradition calls for the groom to break a thin glass wrapped in cloth with his foot. In other traditions the couple jointly smash plates and glasses and jointly tidy up 

Religious Meaning: 

In Jewish religion breaking the glass means the destruction of the Holy Temple, i.e. of the self. Before a person is born he or she and their soulmate are one. Smashing the glass breaks both in half separating them but under the chupah the two soul mates have found each other again and start their life as one soul... 

Symbolic Meaning:  

Breaking the glass/porcelain plates is symbolic for the fact that glass/porcelain is fragile and so are relationships. It acts as a reminder to the couple to always treat their relationship with great care but breaking glass also means good luck! Tidying up afterwards means that the couple works together, helps each other and trusts each other...


JUMPING THE BROOM

Origin:  African, Caribbean, Wales, Scotland

At the end of the ceremony the couple jumps over the broom. It is said whoever jumps higher will be the decision maker in the marriage...




Meaning:

All the past problems and evil spirits of the old life are swept away so that a new clean life together can start. In Wales and Scotland the broom is held like a hurdle and if the couple make it without falling or the broom dropping their marriage is meant to be, if not...
It also means jumping for joy! 

Pep up your wedding!

To have a memorable wedding that's the talk of the town, isn't that what most couple would like?

Nobody wants to have a 'boring' wedding, - we all want our big day to be something ultra special and remembered for a long time. We want to think about our big day with a huge smile on our face, but the ultimate compliment of having hosted a great wedding is if our guests remember the fun time they had and keep talking about it for months!

Its not rocket science to know that money is always a big issue for planning a great wedding. We always put great importance on the venue, the dress, the decorations, food, flowers and everything that goes with it. There are color schemes to think off, decorations, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. etc. The list goes on and on. Each wedding site has endless lists on how to plan the perfect wedding.

But... at the end of the day what is it really that makes your wedding totally special?

Its the same as with everything else in life .... Its the people who are there!

They are the ones that can make the huge difference between your wedding being a complete hit or yet 'another nice wedding'! Just think of the fun things people did to make their wedding extra special! Remember the video of the bridal party dancing down the aisle that went viral? Who hasn't googled funny things that happen at weddings and to get some ideas?

To entertain and give everyone a fun time is not exactly easy when you have a wide range of different people, different age groups, different interests, likes and dislikes. But what they all have in common is that they like to laugh and have a great time. So why not help things along a bit? We're not all born entertainers and planners and nobody minds if you 'cheat' a little bit to get some new ideas!

One of the things I stumbled across is how to be a fun Wedding MC. To be honest, I've never thought about it, but like with everything else, you need someone to pep up the party and to get things going. There will always be guests that are difficult to motivate or some too shy to 'let loose'. Why not give it a shot? Even professional entertainers admit they're always scouting for extra help and new ideas!

You may be lucky and things may happen naturally but all to often they unfortunately don't! So why leave things up to chance if you can help it along by having a witty and funny, organized wedding MC and make your wedding truly unforgettable?

Get more ideas on how to create a fun and memorable wedding reception at THE WEDDING MC!

Tell us your favorite speeches, ideas or fun games!

Legal ceremony versus non-denominational ceremony

If you are unsure what the difference is, read on! 

It is well worth debating over as there are several things to consider. In Mexico you have two options: 

The legal wedding (Civil Wedding) which can only be performed by a Justice of Peace, or, 

a non-denominational wedding (also known as religious or spiritual wedding) which can be performed by a Minister.

Legal Wedding also called 'Civil Wedding':

• All paperwork for the legal wedding needs to be translated into Spanish and must have an apostile (official seal) Please note that many countries require you to hire an official translator to translate your marriage license back into your home language! 
• You require passports and/or birth certificates, divorce certificates (if applicable) and blood tests. Some Hotels agree for you to have the blood test in your home country, check in advance if this is possible. Note that the blood tests must be done within a certain period prior to the wedding date to be valid. Any certificates have to be translated into Spanish
• You must be in the country at least 3 working days prior to the wedding
• You require 4 witnesses, names and copies of their ID's need to be submitted to the Justice of peace a minimum of 5 working days prior to your wedding date (Please note that once you submitted the names of your witnesses they cannot be changed at the last minute!) Most Hotels will take care of all this for you, however, you will require meetings with your wedding planner taking up precious vacation time.
• Most legal judges perform a standard ceremony and do not allow you to choose your own wording (check with your wedding consultant) 
• Most legal judges will also perform the ceremony in Spanish aided by a translator. Consider that it is not very romantic if you feel as if you are watching a tennis match, looking between judge and translator all the time! To get a rough idea of a legal ceremony, compare it to that in a town hall; - short and straight to the point!
• Most legal judges are booked out months in advance and have a very tight time schedule. On average they can only wait approx. 15 mins. before they have to leave for their next wedding. In Mexico we have this wonderful thing called the 'Mexican Minute' which can mean anything from 1 minute to 'whenever'. Delays are always possible, whether it's your fault or somebody else's!
• Note that under Mexican law, the bride's last name is not changed to that of her new husband's! If your name is 'Susie Smith' and your husbands surname is Williams, your married name would be 'Susie Smith de Williams'! In order to change your name, (depending on your local authorities) you may be required to apply for a name change!
• Legal Weddings are usually not possible on Sundays or local bank holidays (It is advisable to check the local bank holidays when planning your wedding date!)
• Also worth mentioning is, that although your marriage is legal in Mexico and also recognized by most countries, you will still have to inform your local authorities back home of your change in legal status! Most Hotels will do this for you but it is worth checking yourself, just in case!
• Always remember that obtaining additional copies of your marriage license will not quite be as easy as it will be back home! 

Tip: If you are a US citizen, check with your local authorities back home! Some Town Halls allow you to take the marriage license with you and have it signed by the Minister who performs your ceremony. On your return, your marriage license needs to be filed. 

Disclaimer: It is not the responsibility of the Minister to check the validity or guarantee the legality of the marriage license!   

Non denominational wedding, also known as 'spiritual or religious' wedding:

• No paperwork is required as your legal status remains unchanged. Note that some Hotels or wedding planners may ask for an ID, entry visa into Mexico (you get this on the plane) and divorce certificate(s), if applicable.
• Most Hotels state that you need to be in the country 3 days prior to the wedding ceremony, however, this is usually for internal planning purposes. If you are only in the country for a short stay, check with your Hotel if they can be flexible
• Independent wedding planners do not have to abide by this rule but check with your wedding planner to be safe! Depending on who you choose, you can actually arrive in the morning and get married in the afternoon if you wish!
• For couples without guests who do not require the service of a wedding planner, check with your chosen Minister! Most are very flexible and accomodating 
• Because the ceremony does not change your legal status, witnesses are optional
• You can choose your own Minister and depending on their service, can discuss the ceremony you would like, make special requests, i.e incorporate children, family and friends, etc.
• Unless specifically requested by the wedding couple, pre-meetings are not required and you can start your vacation the moment you arrive!
• Most Ministers have a small surcharge for weddings held on Sundays and local Bank Holidays or peak days, i.e. Valentines Day, 4th July, Thanksgiving
• Having a non-denominational wedding is an excellent option for couples to celebrate a wedding who cannot legally get married due to financial or other reasons (elderly couples who don't want to change their pension, gay couples in countries or states where a legal wedding is not possible, 'trial marriages', elopee's, etc.
• Extremely popular with couples who 'buckle' under the pressure of having relatives or friends take over THEIR wedding arrangements and who just 'elope' to celebrate their private wedding before the 'real' wedding takes place back home.
• Also great for couples on cruise ships who are usually not long enough in the country to celebrate a legal wedding
• Perfect for renewal of vows

Image by Cancun Wedding Photography

Author: Petra Maurus

www.minister-petra-maurus.com

Text may be used by others only with Author's credits!

Wedding Traditions and their origins

Have you ever wondered about the origin of certain wedding traditions? 

Why does the groom bend down on one knee to propose?

In the days of knighthood and chivalry it was customary for a knight to dip his knee as a sign of servitude to his mistress and master. To all the men proposing: Just remember as you are getting down on one knee you already admit to who is going to be the boss!

Asking the father of the bride for 'her hand in marriage'

In a symbolic purchase, the groom would give the bride's father a coin and the bride would be passed from her father's 'hand' to her husband. Although the coin part is missing these days, it also conveys respect and approval between the bride's father and her new husband. 

Wedding Bouquet

Originally made out of strong smelling herbs, some say it was to fight of evil spirits, another explanation derives from medival times, suggesting that it was to cover up any bad smells! 

Another good explanation is that decorations were also limited in the early days and flowers have always been used to make any celebration more festive!

Bouquet Toss

Brides were and still are considered as especially lucky on their wedding day. Guests would sometimes tear at the bride's dress to get a piece of 'good luck' for themselves, or touch the bride to rub off some of the good luck onto themselves. To please her wedding guests, brides threw their bouquet to the 'not so fortunate ladies' as a 'good luck souvenir' giving herself and her dress a break from her guests. Very much along the lines of 'throw the dog a bone and he will be quiet and leave you in peace!'

Bridal Shower - Wedding gifts

In times when the bride's parents still had to provide their daughters with a dowry, some unfortunate parents were unable to afford an appropriate dowry. In order to save the wedding, friends showered the bride with enough gifts for the newlyweds to start a household. On the wedding day guests often brought dishes or drinks as gifts to contribute to the celebration or 'dowry gifts' for the couple's new household.

Bridal Veil - Giving away of the bride - Not seeing each other before the wedding

In the days of arranged marriages the 'promised couple' was not allowed to see each other before the wedding. Some families were afraid that if the groom didn't like the look of the bride's face, he would refuse to marry her, hence the saying 'It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding' 

Sometimes the bride was also not too keen on her new husband, so the father of the bride made sure that he personally would lead her to the altar so she couldn't escape and only after he presented the groom with his new bride, was the fortunate or unfortunate groom as the case may be, able to lift the veil and see his bride's face.  

Luckily most couples know each other before they get married these days so the 'not seeing each other before the ceremony' doesn't really apply. The veil is a beautiful accessory and giving away the bride can be seen as the 'last steps together as father and daughter' in their old relationship, before the daughter forms her own family and also to congratulate and welcome the new son-in-law.

Garter Toss

One lovely explanation is said it derived from an old English tradition of 'flinging the stocking' 

In the days when garters were worn, guests would follow bride and groom to their bedroom, wait until they undressed, steal their stockings and then 'fling' them at the couple. The first person to hit the bride or groom on the head would supposedly be the next person to marry. Luckily for brides and grooms, this tradition has somewhat been adapted to offer the couple more privacy and less brutality!

Money Dance

An adaptation of the wedding dowry, wedding shower, wedding gifts. Some couples nowadays also chose to donate some of their monetary gifts to a chosen charity to help a cause they believe in.

Penny in a shoe

A European tradition, supposed to bring good luck to the bride but also fortune, protection against greed (so she learns to understand the value of money) and the ability to take care of the household finances. Some girls still collect pennies since childhood to accumulate these virtues to pay for their wedding shoes. It is supposed to ensure that the marriage will 'start off on a good foot'!

Something old....

Bride's often moved away from their families and took something 'old' to remind them of their 'old life' to have a sense of continuity in their new life.

Something new.... 

Something new represents a new life, a new beginning and a transition from childhood into adulthood 

Something borrowed....

Many people used to believe that if they borrowed something from a fortunate or happily married couple, the fortune or happiness would rub off on them.

Something Blue....

The color 'blue' symbolized purity, constancy and fidelity. As a sign of having these virtues, brides used to have blue borders on their wedding dress. As fashion changed, the blue border was substituted for other blue items.

Tossing Rice   

By believing that newlyweds brought good luck, guests used to shower them with nuts and grains as a symbolism to insure a bountiful harvest and many children to work the land. During times of poor harvest the nuts and grains were substituted by rice. (Probably less painful for the couple too!) Some couples also use birdseed or bubbles.

Tying the knot

Some say the saying originates from the Roman empire when bride's wore a girdle that was tied in knots and the groom had to untie the knots prior to the consummation of the marriage. Another explanation comes from the handfasting tradition where the couple's hands were tied together with ribbons as a sign of their unity. 

Wedding Cake 

Wedding cakes were originally made of wheat or barley and the cake was traditionally broken over the head of the couple as a sign of fertility and always having enough to eat. Guests would pick up pieces of cake and take them home for good luck. Another tradition was to place many small cakes on top of each other as high as possible with the couple having to exchange a kiss over the cake. Sometimes the cakes were piles so high that the couple had their faces covered in cake which may explain why some couples smash the cake into each other's face nowadays! 

Wedding Rings

One saying is that rings were tied around a bride's ankles and wrists to prevent her spirit from running away but as far as history dates back rings were always used as a token of sincerity, as a sign of a bond and as a precious gift for a treasured person. The phrase 'without beginning and without end' has been traced back to originate in Egypt. Rings were made from various materials, but over the years, purified metals like gold and other precious metals have established themselves as a visible sign between married couples.

Why is the wedding ring worn on the ring finger?

The Egyptians believed that the ring finger followed the vena amoris (vein of love) which runs from this finger directly to the heart. Wedding rings are a token of the unconditional love between two people that comes from their hearts.

Ring Pillow - Ring Bearer

This traditions derives from royalty who used to have their jewels presented to them on a pillow for their coronation. The person carrying the jewels was a loyal, dedicated person who could be trusted explicitly. Not to be confused with having to dress up like a bear like one upset little boy thought he had to do for the wedding! 

Why is the left side traditionally the bride's side?

In early days bride's were often stolen away whilst standing at the altar so the groom would keep his right hand free to fight off the robbers and not to injure his bride.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen

Under Roman law a couple was required to have 10 witnesses present at the ceremony for the purpuse of fooling off evil spirits playing pranks on the couple. They were dressed in matching clothing to confuse the spirits. Although it is still the bridesmaid's and groomsmen's

role to shelter the wedding couple from 'evil', being a bridesmaid or groomsman is also seen as an honor that they are closely linked to the couple. 

Wedding Kiss

In Roman times, a kiss was seen as a legal bond that sealed all contracts, hence the saying 'sealed with a kiss' 

Honeymoon

Because months are measured by the moon's cycle, one explanation is that couple were given one 'moon' and sweet foods like honey to get to know each other, another explanation is that during a certain cycle of the moon the couple would consume mead together (a honey sweetened alcoholic brew) to increase fertility. Whoever invented a honeymoon, it is a wonderful idea to spend some quality time with each other before diving back into day-to-day life! 

  

Author: Petra Maurus

www.minister-petra-maurus.com

Text may be used by others only with Author's credits!

 

  

 

A few wedding mishaps ....

Working as a Minister certainly does have its advantages! 

The fact that 99.9 % of the couples I marry are extremely happy, is a great contributing fact for achieving near-perfect job satisfaction. No bad-tempered clients, no complaints and sunshine, blue sky, turquoise ocean, and a beautiful white sandy beach certainly help too! It's easy to smile and be nice when the couples you work with are all happy, excited, and friendly. I always tell each couple to 'go with the flow', chill out, and not to worry! It's ok if things go wrong, as long as nobody comes to harm! A perfect wedding will be remembered as just that - 'Perfect'; but it is certainly not going to be memorable! 

It's those little things that happen unscheduled and that may not always be funny on the actual day, which will make a wedding memorable and keep people laughing years later. 

With over 1000 wedding ceremonies under my belt, every single wedding is still exciting for me. Show me a photo of a couple I married years ago and for sure I will remember them! Some weddings don't require a photo to be forever embedded in my mind though. Whenever you come to a point in your wedding where you think it's getting tough, here are just a few 'memorable' weddings that will put some mishaps into perspective.

Some brides are very calm and quiet whilst others are nervous or excited, giggly or teary, and of course, there is the odd 'bridezilla'!

Contrary to wide belief and fortunate for most working in the wedding industry, 'bridezilla's' are still relatively rare, considering the amount of pressure each bride is under! It's always easy to judge others but one should always remember that we all have different tolerance levels, different expectations, and who knows, there may be a perfectly understandable reason as to why a bride 'flips'; - we just may not be aware of it! 

For me, the easiest way to deal with any stressed bride is to calm her down and reassure her - not always an easy task, I agree. It's often easier for an outsider to take over this task than for a close relative or friend where the temptation to 'try and reason against all odds' is much higher. Touch wood, in my entire career working as a Minister, I only ever came across one completely uncontrollable bride who, I may add, should have come with a serious health warning! 

Sadly, the bride was bi-polar, which, as far as I am aware, can in most cases effectively treated by medication. Too bad for me and all who came in contact with her that her medication flew out the window and was swiftly replaced by Mexican Tequila the minute they touched down in Cancun! 

It was truly THE wedding from hell, one minute the bride squeezed and hugged everyone in joy, the next minute anyone close to her was ducking for cover and I seriously thought I would have to exchange my Ceremony Book for boxing gloves to defend myself! It was not only THE wedding from hell, - it was also a truly scary experience to anyone that was within range, onlookers, wedding guests, or staff! I decided to grit my teeth and put on a brave face and somehow managed to get through the ceremony - after deciding to make a rapid exit during one of her 'hugging phases'! 

This was by far the 'worst' wedding I ever officiated and I am sure the bride didn't enjoy her big day as much as she could have done, if she would have taken her medication either! Always remember not to 'skip' medication because it's your wedding day, it could ruin your wedding!    

Then there was the wedding in the dark, with guests slowly being roasted by the tiki torches, bugs the size of bats, and a completely drunk father of the bride. This particular bride went through immense trouble choosing a set up overflowing with roses - a rose wedding arch, roses on the aisle, on the chairs, and wherever they could possibly be placed. The smell was intoxicating, - and after the bride eventually made her entrance 1 1/2 hours late, the guests were intoxicated too - in particular the bride's father! 

The bride eventually arrived after sunset and everyone hurriedly staggered to their seats. By this time it was pitch black outside, there was no moon and the only lighting came from the tiki torches that lined the aisle. As the guests rose and strained to see the bride making her entrance, swaying gently from side to side from the effect of the pre-ceremony drinks, they were slowly being smoldered and smoked by the tiki torches. 

The bride literally carried her father down the aisle with obvious difficulty whilst the groom and I patiently waited at the altar. As they slowly swayed towards us, the bride's father suddenly decided he had enough of walking and just nonchalantly pushed his daughter towards me and just fell into a chair without giving me the chance to ask 'Who gives this woman away....' 

I will always admire her for keeping her cool as very dryly whispered to me with a straight face: 'Just skip that part!' 

It was so dark, that in order to be able to read the ceremony script, I had to get as close as possible to the tiki torches. Between coughing fits from the smoke and avoiding to be set alight by the flame, the ceremony continued relatively smoothly, except for a few interruptions by the odd scream or wild carfuffle by some of the guests trying to fight off near bat-size bugs that were obviously extremely attracted by the fire and intoxicating smell of the roses. All in all everyone had a great time but for those brides planning on making a late entrance, I would just like to add that I am usually not in a position to wait that long for a bride to arrive, and please also spare a thought for your poor guests! :)  

There are also other hazards that don't immediately spring to mind when planning a beach wedding! A box of tissues may not always just serve the purpose of wiping tears of joy away! During one of my ceremonies a flock of pelicans decided to make a formation flight right overhead the ceremony site and one of the birds left a rather generous present mid-flight. It was not gladly received by the poor bridesmaid who was unaware of the danger from above, and who led out a high pitched scream as the generous 'offering' landed on her beautiful dress with an audible splash! One of the groomsmen came to her rescue by immediately taking off his shirt for her and the ceremony continued with a rather odd-looking bridal party - a groomsman wearing nothing but his trousers and a bow tie and a maid of honor wearing a dress shirt above her bridesmaid dress! The bride had meticulously written schedules for her entire wedding day, covering all eventualities with 'Plan B + C', however ....overhead pelicans were not calculated for.... 

These are just a select few wedding mishaps & 'dangers' I encountered as a Minister and it has hopefully given me the panache of staying cool even in the most outrageous situations! 

Author: Petra Rattue